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Rhian Cahill

Rhian Cahill

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Ever wondered what’s said at an authors lunch?

January 22, 2014 · In: Writing

*originally posted on the Escape Publishing blog*

 

Five Escape Artists Walk Into a Restaurant

 

In November 2012 five writers:  Rhian Cahill, Lee Christine, Keziah Hill, Rebekah Turner and Ainslie Paton met for the first time on the day Escape Publishing opened their electronic doors for business.

 

This is what happened when they met again twelve months later over lunch:

 

Ainslie: Our Managing Editor El Supremo, Kate Cuthbert would like us to do a post for the Escapades blog.

 

Rebekah: We would so ace a blog post.

 

Keziah: Did she say what she’d like the blog post to do?

 

Ainslie: Solve world hunger, spread peace and good will, attract new readers, and anything with Idris Elba.

 

Lee: Is Idris Elba a new Escape Artist?

 

Rhian: She did not say that.  Except for the Idris Elba part.  She would so say that.

 

Ainslie: She said she’d like a piece reflecting on our first year as Escape published authors.

 

Rebekah: Yawn.  (The word, not the action).

 

Keziah: Surely, we can do something more interesting than that.  We’re writers. Allegedly.

 

Lee: Idris Elba is a good name for a new character in my Poole & Grace Lawyers series.

 

Rhian: I don’t think I have any reflections.  I’m all reflectioned out.  2013 was a tough year.

 

Keziah: Ain’t that the truth.

 

Ainslie: For publishing?

 

Rhian: For Idris Elba.

 

Lee: Who is Idris Elba?

 

Rebekah: I wrote the second Chronicles of Applecross book, Chaos Bound and it’s out now.  My horde of writing elves is now hard at work on book three.  Plus hmm, flying monkeys. 

 

Keziah: Where do you get writing elves from?  I could do with a good dozen of those.  Do they work cheap?  Three releases a year here I come.

 

Rhian: Swear word (An actual four letter word starting in f and ending in ing, not the euphemism) writing elves.

 

Lee: Idris Elba is a great name for an elf.  Not sure I can work an elf into my next novel, though if Kate wants one I could try.  I could call it In Safe Elves’ Arms.

 

Ainslie: That has a certain ring to it.

 

Keziah: More wine.

 

Rhian: What are we going to write about?  Life is not an occasion themed novella.

 

Rebekah: Can we get a dessert menu? Helloooo … somebody?

 

Ainslie: We could write about what we learned in the last year as writers, how we’ve grown as professionals, and where we’re taking our careers next.

 

Keziah: We could.  Or you could and I’ll take notes.

 

Rhian: If we wanted to bore everyone to swear word (four colourful letters with a suffix, you get the picture) death.  Where is that waiter with the nice eyes and the tight… yeah, you know?

 

Lee: (Looking at her phone screen) Idris Elba has very nice eyes.  There is nothing elfish about him.  I can entirely see Kate’s point.

 

Keziah: Is elfish a word?  Is reflectioned?  They could be the new selfie.  Should tweet Macquarie.

 

Rebekah: I’m really sorry I made up the thing about elves.  I never learn.

 

Rhian: Waiter!

 

Ainslie: So what if we wrote about second book syndrome or the perils of blog tours, or getting your first one star review.

 

Rebekah: I saw that one star you got.  It was a doozey.

 

Ainslie: Hey—at least it had a star.

 

Keziah: What happens in one star club stays in one star club.

 

Lee: Don’t they say any review is a good review?

 

Rhian: Only if Idris Elba wrote it.

 

Ainslie: We could write about what surprised us about being published in 2013.

 

Keziah: That dinosaur erotica would really hurt.

 

Rhian: That no one really knows what defines NA.

 

Lee: Bet Idris does.

 

Ainslie: That hybrid author isn’t a disease.

 

Rebekah: That it’s perfectly possible to write 1000 words in McDonald’s and live to tell the tale.

 

Lee: That no one knows if blog tours and virtual launches work.

 

Rhian: That no one reads and assesses manuscripts like Kate Cuthbert.  Not that I’m sucking up or anything.

 

Ainslie: This is like talking to my mother times four.  What if we wrote about our plans for 2014?

 

Lee: All Idris Elba, all channels, and I’m going to work on another Grace & Poole story plus I have another single title in the works.

 

Rebekah: I will also be flogging any elf who refuses to work a standard ninety hour writing week and Lora Blackgoat will return.

 

Rhian: I’ll write my twentieth title.

There is long moment of silence as jaws drag on the tabletop.  There is saliva.  It’s not sexy.

 

Keziah: I’m not saying another word.

 

Ainslie: Me neither.

 

Lee: Idris Elba.

 

Rebekah: Amen.

 

Note 1:                 None of these actual words got said at lunch with the exception of several swear words and the phrases: “More wine”, and, “Can we get a dessert menu?”  Some of the sentiments expressed may bear a resemblance to truth.

Note 2:                 The five Escape Artists categorically deny any accusation of waiter with nice eyes harassment.

Note 3:                 No Idris Elbas were hurt in the making of this lunch.

By: RC · In: Writing

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Comments

  1. Nicolette says

    January 31, 2014 at 8:54 pm

    very funny.

    Love Idris….

    • RC says

      February 4, 2014 at 11:06 am

      It was a great lunch! 🙂

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❤️ 𝗣𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗹 ❤️
𝐁𝐮𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬:
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Barnes & Noble – http://tinyurl.com/y74t8sqh
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Kobo – http://tinyurl.com/ycvx6fad

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💖𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝗿 𝗗𝗮𝗿𝗲💖
𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘏𝘖𝘛, 𝘚𝘛𝘌𝘈𝘔𝘠, 𝘚𝘌𝘟𝘠, 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘪𝘗𝘢𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬! 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘔𝘍𝘔 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶! – 𝘚𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦, 𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸

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Apple Books – http://tinyurl.com/y7kol24h
Barnes & Noble – http://tinyurl.com/ycg2cvj3
Kobo – http://tinyurl.com/y9qaoz8w

💚 𝗦𝗽𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 💚

“𝘛𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵, 𝘓𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪. 𝘈𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘎𝘰𝘥, 𝘐’𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.”
𝐁𝐮𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬:
Amazon – http://amzn.to/2wNGf3v
Apple Books – http://tinyurl.com/ydhooql2
Barnes & Noble – http://tinyurl.com/y8vhrqxz
Kobo – http://tinyurl.com/ybrgrr4f

❤️ 𝗣𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗹 ❤️
𝐁𝐮𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬:
Amazon – http://amzn.to/2FjEjZu
Barnes & Noble – http://tinyurl.com/y74t8sqh
Apple Books – http://tinyurl.com/y7pmqngw
Kobo – http://tinyurl.com/ycvx6fad

#PartyGames #TruthOrDare #MikiAndGrantAndDayne #friendstolovers #secondchance 
#SpinTheBottle #LillianAndMac #bestfriendslittlesister #PassTheParcel #KittyAndEthanAndFinn #officeromance #eroticromance #mfm #menage #contemporaryromance #romancebooks #readersofinstagram #books #bookstagram#authorsofinstagram #romanceauthor
💖💚 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 💖💚 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 💚💖

💖𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝗿 𝗗𝗮𝗿𝗲💖
𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘏𝘖𝘛, 𝘚𝘛𝘌𝘈𝘔𝘠, 𝘚𝘌𝘟𝘠, 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘪𝘗𝘢𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬! 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘔𝘍𝘔 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶! – 𝘚𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦, 𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸

𝐁𝐮𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬:
Amazon – http://amzn.to/2fvW8Iq
Apple Books – http://tinyurl.com/y7kol24h
Barnes & Noble – http://tinyurl.com/ycg2cvj3
Kobo – http://tinyurl.com/y9qaoz8w

💚 𝗦𝗽𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 💚

“𝘛𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵, 𝘓𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪. 𝘈𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘎𝘰𝘥, 𝘐’𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.”
𝐁𝐮𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬:
Amazon – http://amzn.to/2wNGf3v
Apple Books – http://tinyurl.com/ydhooql2
Barnes & Noble – http://tinyurl.com/y8vhrqxz
Kobo – http://tinyurl.com/ybrgrr4f

❤️ 𝗣𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗹 ❤️
𝐁𝐮𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬:
Amazon – http://amzn.to/2FjEjZu
Barnes & Noble – http://tinyurl.com/y74t8sqh
Apple Books – http://tinyurl.com/y7pmqngw
Kobo – http://tinyurl.com/ycvx6fad

#PartyGames #TruthOrDare #MikiAndGrantAndDayne #friendstolovers #secondchance 
#SpinTheBottle #LillianAndMac #bestfriendslittlesister #PassTheParcel #KittyAndEthanAndFinn #officeromance #eroticromance #mfm #menage #contemporaryromance #romancebooks #readersofinstagram #books #bookstagram#authorsofinstagram #romanceauthor
💖💚 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 💖💚 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 💚💖

💖𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝗿 𝗗𝗮𝗿𝗲💖
𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘏𝘖𝘛, 𝘚𝘛𝘌𝘈𝘔𝘠, 𝘚𝘌𝘟𝘠, 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘪𝘗𝘢𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬! 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘔𝘍𝘔 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶! – 𝘚𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦, 𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸

𝐁𝐮𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬:
Amazon – http://amzn.to/2fvW8Iq
Apple Books – http://tinyurl.com/y7kol24h
Barnes & Noble – http://tinyurl.com/ycg2cvj3
Kobo – http://tinyurl.com/y9qaoz8w

💚 𝗦𝗽𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 💚

“𝘛𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵, 𝘓𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪. 𝘈𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘎𝘰𝘥, 𝘐’𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.”
𝐁𝐮𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬:
Amazon – http://amzn.to/2wNGf3v
Apple Books – http://tinyurl.com/ydhooql2
Barnes & Noble – http://tinyurl.com/y8vhrqxz
Kobo – http://tinyurl.com/ybrgrr4f

❤️ 𝗣𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗹 ❤️
𝐁𝐮𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬:
Amazon – http://amzn.to/2FjEjZu
Barnes & Noble – http://tinyurl.com/y74t8sqh
Apple Books – http://tinyurl.com/y7pmqngw
Kobo – http://tinyurl.com/ycvx6fad

#PartyGames #TruthOrDare #MikiAndGrantAndDayne #friendstolovers #secondchance 
#SpinTheBottle #LillianAndMac #bestfriendslittlesister #PassTheParcel #KittyAndEthanAndFinn #officeromance #eroticromance #mfm #menage #contemporaryromance #romancebooks #readersofinstagram #books #bookstagram#authorsofinstagram #romanceauthor

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