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Episode 30!!! WTF?!?! I can’t believe we’re up to 30 episodes! And yes, I know I missed another two weeks….Sorry about that. Anyway, let’s dive in and hit play on this sucker.
9 months and counting
Thursday is 9 months since I was diagnosed and the more time that passes the more surreal it gets.
Each day the everyday things get a little more ‘normal’ even though I’m dealing with lingering side effects from radiation as well as new ones from the hormone treatment. On average I forget all about it.
Then something happens (a pair of pants don’t fit, there’s fluid in my ankles, I’m flashing so hot I could heat a whole house…) and I’m slapped in the face by the very real fact that I had breast cancer and the whole roller coaster of emotions happens and I’m left a little dazed.
One of the things that triggered an OMFG! that really happened moment was running into a friend I haven’t seen in a few years while we were in Oz visiting the tribe. I’ve not talked about it like that before. It felt strange because while she knew about my diagnosis, she’s not been part of the everyday and definitely hadn’t seen me since. It felt odd. I’ve known her for years and even when we go months or years without seeing each other it’s like we saw each other the day before, and yet this time it felt odd in a way I can’t even describe.
Honestly, I’m still wrapping my head around that discussion. It was one of the rare times it has hit me that I’m a cancer surviver. There’s some pride in that. Also confusion. And a little disbelief.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, this whole thing has been one big mind-f*ck.
I’ve shared a lot of the mind-f*ckery here but one thing I haven’t gone into too deep is the struggle to get back to writing. I haven’t wanted to do more than skim the surface of it but a few weeks ago I changed my mind on that and wrote an article for Verve Romance. You can find that article here –
(click the graphic)
I’m still recovering from our trip to Oz and this past holiday weekend (damn you fatigue!!!) so this weeks episode is short but you can head over to Verve Romance to check out some more of how breast cancer affected more than just my boobs.