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Boobs Behaving Badly – Episode 33

July 6, 2022 · In: Boobs Behaving Badly

Need to catch up or binge the whole series? Click HERE!

Playing Turtle

I’ve discovered something about myself that I wasn’t fully aware of before now.

I know I’ve always been one to consider things in a ‘quiet’ way, but since being diagnosed I’ve taken that to a new level. Hence the episode title.

Playing Turtle.

I can’t seem to get out of my own head. And that would be fine if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m not able to ‘function’ outside of whatever has me inside my head.

For me, breast cancer has had more of an impact on me mentally than physically.

My wounds are healed and my arm is about 98% of what it was but mentally?

Yeah, that’s a hurdle I think it’s going to take more than a few months to get over and to be honest, I doubt I’ll ever be the same.

How can I be?

My boob tried to kill me!

I now look at any change in my body as a death threat.

And that totally f*cks with my head!

I think I’ve got a handle on it and I’m doing okay with what was, what is, and what might be, then cancer happens to someone else and OMG! I’m turtling again.

Thoughts spiral and I’m pulling in and hiding.

Except I can’t hide from those thoughts.

Because they’re in my head.

I was talking with a dear dear friend and we’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve probably got a bit of survivors guilt going on.

It’s understandable.

Why did I beat breast cancer so easily (don’t worry I know it wasn’t easily but that’s how it sometimes feels) and others are struggling through hideous treatments and sometimes removing large parts of their body to get this horrible disease to go away.

I just can’t right now. It’s why I haven’t posted in weeks.

I’m posting today because yesterday I had a check up with my surgeon and he’s so so happy with my progress. His confidence and support make the hard days a little less draining.

I’m allowed to have bad days.

I’m allowed to turtle if I need to.

We all are even if we haven’t fought a life threatening disease.

Life is hard, sometimes it requires a step back and a deep breath. (Or a complete retreat and hide.)

I hope you’re all kind to yourselves and take that step back when you need it.

I’ll admit I haven’t been that kind to me in the past.

But you can bet I’m doing it now. Even when it’s a conscious choice instead of the whole instinctive turtle mimic.

I’m out of my shell today and trying to remain out because we’ve got our first visitors in over 2 years here and I love hanging out with them and playing tourist around Singapore. Not that our guests are really tourists. They’ve been here so many times they know the place as well as we do.

Anyway, I promise to be back next week with a more upbeat episode (fingers crossed) to share some of the adventures we’re all going to get up to.

One last thing.

Be kind to yourself. If you need to turtle there’s no shame in that.

** Episode 34 **

By: RC · In: Boobs Behaving Badly

About RC

Rhian writes page-turning stories that make your pulse thump. She's an Aussie expat living in Singapore and a breast cancer survivor.

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Comments

  1. Eileen AW says

    July 6, 2022 at 9:35 am

    Major HUGs, Rhian!!! It’s okay to turtle when you need to. I think we all do it. Probably for different reasons, but it can be a comfort.

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💛𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨 💛𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞! 💛

Grab your copy now! https://amzn.to/3L0u8Xk

Add to your TBR list: https://bit.ly/38X9N76

𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐛:

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐈𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭.

Jake Conners is ready to put the past behind him and give his son—the one good thing to come out of a disastrous relationship—the best he can. Moving to Sunnyville to rebuild their lives and repair the friendship his ex ruined is the new beginning they both need.

Mallory Dawson is in Sunnyville to make amends for her stepsister. She never meant to get close to Jacob or Maddox but living in the garage apartment of their new house keeps her in constant contact and as each day passes, she's pulled into their lives and closer to the duo.

The last thing either of them wants is a relationship, but as their friendship grows their connection becomes harder to deny. With each encounter Jake’s heart opens more and 

Mallory’s love for Maddox is one the toddler never received from anyone other than Jake.
But when Mallory's link to Jake’s past is revealed the fallout leaves her without a place to live and a broken heart. With the threat her family represents, she's forced to accept the budding relationship the three of them have is gone.

Devastated and with no hope of getting the thing she wants most—a family with Jacob and Maddox—Mallory is willing to put everything—including her life—on the line to ensure her stepsister can never again hurt the two people she loves most.

Rhian Cahill’s Fallout is an emotional, single dad, second chance contemporary romance written in K. Bromberg’s Everyday Heroes Worlds project.

#Fallout #KBWorlds #EverydayHeroesWorld #JakeAndMallory #Maddox #SingleDad #StartingOver #SecondChance #SmallTown #AgeGap #Nanny #TragicPast #SecretHeir #Billionaire #SiblingsEx #ContemporaryRomance #KindleUnlimited
💚𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤💚 𝑆 💚𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤💚

𝑆𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟. 𝑀𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑎𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡.

For Rylan Conners, flying for Mercy-Life is a haven after twenty years in the military and the breakup of his marriage.

Mazey Novak took the flight nurse job at Mercy-Life to escape the horror show her life had become.

Neither is looking for a relationship, but they can’t ignore their chemistry. One explosive encounter draws them together in a way they never expected.

A surprise pregnancy isn’t what the doctor ordered, but it’s an opportunity for each of them to have the life they’ve always dreamed of.

When a flashback from the past threatens to tear down everything they’re building can Rylan and Mazey become a real family or will their pasts ground them forever?

Rhian Cahill’s Flashback is a sexy, workplace, friends to lovers, contemporary romance written in K. Bromberg’s Everyday Heroes Worlds project.

𝐁𝐮𝐲 𝐢𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰:  https://amzn.to/30kXR8W

𝐀𝐝𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐁𝐑 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: https://smarturl.it/FlashbackGR 

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💛𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨 💛𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞! 💛

Grab your copy now! https://amzn.to/3L0u8Xk

Add to your TBR list: https://bit.ly/38X9N76

𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐛:

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐈𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭.

Jake Conners is ready to put the past behind him and give his son—the one good thing to come out of a disastrous relationship—the best he can. Moving to Sunnyville to rebuild their lives and repair the friendship his ex ruined is the new beginning they both need.

Mallory Dawson is in Sunnyville to make amends for her stepsister. She never meant to get close to Jacob or Maddox but living in the garage apartment of their new house keeps her in constant contact and as each day passes, she's pulled into their lives and closer to the duo.

The last thing either of them wants is a relationship, but as their friendship grows their connection becomes harder to deny. With each encounter Jake’s heart opens more and 

Mallory’s love for Maddox is one the toddler never received from anyone other than Jake.
But when Mallory's link to Jake’s past is revealed the fallout leaves her without a place to live and a broken heart. With the threat her family represents, she's forced to accept the budding relationship the three of them have is gone.

Devastated and with no hope of getting the thing she wants most—a family with Jacob and Maddox—Mallory is willing to put everything—including her life—on the line to ensure her stepsister can never again hurt the two people she loves most.

Rhian Cahill’s Fallout is an emotional, single dad, second chance contemporary romance written in K. Bromberg’s Everyday Heroes Worlds project.

#Fallout #KBWorlds #EverydayHeroesWorld #JakeAndMallory #Maddox #SingleDad #StartingOver #SecondChance #SmallTown #AgeGap #Nanny #TragicPast #SecretHeir #Billionaire #SiblingsEx #ContemporaryRomance #KindleUnlimited
💚𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤💚 𝑆 💚𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤💚

𝑆𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟. 𝑀𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑎𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡.

For Rylan Conners, flying for Mercy-Life is a haven after twenty years in the military and the breakup of his marriage.

Mazey Novak took the flight nurse job at Mercy-Life to escape the horror show her life had become.

Neither is looking for a relationship, but they can’t ignore their chemistry. One explosive encounter draws them together in a way they never expected.

A surprise pregnancy isn’t what the doctor ordered, but it’s an opportunity for each of them to have the life they’ve always dreamed of.

When a flashback from the past threatens to tear down everything they’re building can Rylan and Mazey become a real family or will their pasts ground them forever?

Rhian Cahill’s Flashback is a sexy, workplace, friends to lovers, contemporary romance written in K. Bromberg’s Everyday Heroes Worlds project.

𝐁𝐮𝐲 𝐢𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰:  https://amzn.to/30kXR8W

𝐀𝐝𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐁𝐑 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: https://smarturl.it/FlashbackGR 

#Flashback #KBWorlds #EverydayHeroesWorld #RylanAndMazey #FriendsToLovers #SurpriseBaby #Wordplace #FirstResponder #MenInUniform #KindleUnlimited #ContemporaryRomance

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