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Boobs Behaving Badly – Episode 38

October 25, 2022 · In: Boobs Behaving Badly

(Need to catch up or binge the whole series? Click HERE!)

Not a cricket, a turtle

I haven’t been here chirping like a cricket because I’ve been over there acting like a turtle.

I’ve talked about my ability to turtle before. I’m super good at it apparently. So good I’m often not aware I’m doing it.

I do it, my brain works out what it needs to then gets back to life. And only after that do I figure out I’ve been turtling.

Most of the time it’s short and I’m unaware.

But this time I’ve been aware.

Well aware.

I just couldn’t work out why my brain needed to do it and that’s unusual when I’m doing it for so long. (More than a few days and I consciously become aware of my need to pull back from stuff and why, and I ride it out.)

But it’s been weeks of turtling without any idea of why.

Until last week.

Last week when a conversation with Mr.C had me discovering what I believe has had me hiding out.

I was glancing through my calendar because Mr.C asked what weekends I had free for a quick getaway to our favorite spa in Indonesia. (Which is only a 50min ferry ride away and where I was when I wrote this post!)

But I digress.

Back to what I was saying.

There I am, flicking through my planner and I see a paper-clipped referral from my surgeon.

That blue paper, carefully clipped to the first week of November’s page stopped me in my tracks.

Then a light bulb in my brain went on.

I might have passed the 1 year mark but I haven’t had any follow up scans yet.

Sure, my surgeon does the quick ultrasound of my operation sites in his office every time I go but as for a full mammogram or ultrasound breast screening, I’ve had neither of those since before my op.

I also need to have my 1 year bone density scan done. (Remember I’m having to do those because the hormone med I’m on affects bone density and I’m already borderline osteoporosis in a couple of areas (my left hip is particularly bad).

So while the 1 year mark got celebrated (kind of, I wasn’t feeling it all that much) my subconscious has been having a lovely time freaking out.

Actually, that might explain my lack of desire to celebrate the 1 year mark.

And as the light blazed brightly on my subconscious I started to feel better. More human. More ready to tackle life outside of the pages of a book, (either mine or someone else’s) more…

Just better.

Although I haven’t been quite ready to talk about it here yet even though I worked through it all last week.

Until now.

Now I’m here and I’m talking – being a cricket. 😉

I know I’ve been super quiet, both here and on social media, and I apologies for that. I will say, at any time if you want to check in with me I’m always open to getting emails, or you can leave a comment on any blog post here because I get notifications for those. And you can always message me on Instagram or Facebook.

The bonus for being a turtle the last few months is I have been writing and planning my new series, which I’m proud of because normally when I turtle I’m out for doing anything other than sitting on the couch reading.

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that. It’s a great coping mechanism for times when you need to pull back from the world. Plus I’m a reader at heart so I’m never upset about reading time.

But I usually do get upset when I’m prevented from writing.

And since my first Covid shot in May 2021 and the quickly following breast cancer diagnosis I’ve struggled to write anything.

So writing is good.

Super good. I’ve got a new novella coming out next month.

(Santa Crush is part of the Santa Cruise charity anthology and you can find out about it HERE!)

While I’m more than happy with what I’ve done on the writing front, I’m not so happy with the way I’ve neglected everything else.

It’s something I was working on, getting back into my writing groove, the business side of being an author, life now that we’re able to travel again, and I thought I was doing well. I’d found a nice balance between work and life and general living and then I came back from visiting the tribe in Oz and the wonderful, fantastic experience of seeing another Gbaby arrive into the world and fell flat.

Or more like splat. I had this invisible, impassable wall in front of me.

You’ll remember the 1 year mark of all the major points in this shit show started in August while I was away and rolled right into the month after I got home.

It’s been interesting to look back over the last few months and see it with clearer eyes, with a deeper understanding of what my subconscious has been working on, that’s for sure.

One other thing has become clear to me in the last week.

(Other than the freak out of wondering if my scans will come back clear of cancer or not.)

My body might be cancer free but I’m not.

I’ll never be cancer free.

Because even though it currently isn’t a physical threat, it is mentally and emotionally.

I will always be checking, always aware of changes, always waiting for those words to be said again.

So while I’m physically cancer free I’m never going to be cancer free.

It’s a sobering thought.

I may need to turtle on it for awhile. 🙂

By: RC · In: Boobs Behaving Badly

About RC

Rhian writes page-turning stories that make your pulse thump. She's an Aussie expat living in Singapore and a breast cancer survivor.

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  1. Eileen AW says

    October 26, 2022 at 3:03 am

    Those are some deep thoughts and realizations, Rhian. Each is understandable. Keep thinking positive. HUGs!!

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Rhian writes page-turning stories that make your pulse thump. She's an Aussie expat living in Singapore and a breast cancer survivor.

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐈𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭.

Jake Conners is ready to put the past behind him and give his son—the one good thing to come out of a disastrous relationship—the best he can. Moving to Sunnyville to rebuild their lives and repair the friendship his ex ruined is the new beginning they both need.

Mallory Dawson is in Sunnyville to make amends for her stepsister. She never meant to get close to Jacob or Maddox but living in the garage apartment of their new house keeps her in constant contact and as each day passes, she's pulled into their lives and closer to the duo.

The last thing either of them wants is a relationship, but as their friendship grows their connection becomes harder to deny. With each encounter Jake’s heart opens more and 

Mallory’s love for Maddox is one the toddler never received from anyone other than Jake.
But when Mallory's link to Jake’s past is revealed the fallout leaves her without a place to live and a broken heart. With the threat her family represents, she's forced to accept the budding relationship the three of them have is gone.

Devastated and with no hope of getting the thing she wants most—a family with Jacob and Maddox—Mallory is willing to put everything—including her life—on the line to ensure her stepsister can never again hurt the two people she loves most.

Rhian Cahill’s Fallout is an emotional, single dad, second chance contemporary romance written in K. Bromberg’s Everyday Heroes Worlds project.

#Fallout #KBWorlds #EverydayHeroesWorld #JakeAndMallory #Maddox #SingleDad #StartingOver #SecondChance #SmallTown #AgeGap #Nanny #TragicPast #SecretHeir #Billionaire #SiblingsEx #ContemporaryRomance #KindleUnlimited
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𝑆𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟. 𝑀𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑎𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡.

For Rylan Conners, flying for Mercy-Life is a haven after twenty years in the military and the breakup of his marriage.

Mazey Novak took the flight nurse job at Mercy-Life to escape the horror show her life had become.

Neither is looking for a relationship, but they can’t ignore their chemistry. One explosive encounter draws them together in a way they never expected.

A surprise pregnancy isn’t what the doctor ordered, but it’s an opportunity for each of them to have the life they’ve always dreamed of.

When a flashback from the past threatens to tear down everything they’re building can Rylan and Mazey become a real family or will their pasts ground them forever?

Rhian Cahill’s Flashback is a sexy, workplace, friends to lovers, contemporary romance written in K. Bromberg’s Everyday Heroes Worlds project.

𝐁𝐮𝐲 𝐢𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰:  https://amzn.to/30kXR8W

𝐀𝐝𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐁𝐑 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: https://smarturl.it/FlashbackGR 

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Grab your copy now! https://amzn.to/3L0u8Xk

Add to your TBR list: https://bit.ly/38X9N76

𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐛:

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐈𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭.

Jake Conners is ready to put the past behind him and give his son—the one good thing to come out of a disastrous relationship—the best he can. Moving to Sunnyville to rebuild their lives and repair the friendship his ex ruined is the new beginning they both need.

Mallory Dawson is in Sunnyville to make amends for her stepsister. She never meant to get close to Jacob or Maddox but living in the garage apartment of their new house keeps her in constant contact and as each day passes, she's pulled into their lives and closer to the duo.

The last thing either of them wants is a relationship, but as their friendship grows their connection becomes harder to deny. With each encounter Jake’s heart opens more and 

Mallory’s love for Maddox is one the toddler never received from anyone other than Jake.
But when Mallory's link to Jake’s past is revealed the fallout leaves her without a place to live and a broken heart. With the threat her family represents, she's forced to accept the budding relationship the three of them have is gone.

Devastated and with no hope of getting the thing she wants most—a family with Jacob and Maddox—Mallory is willing to put everything—including her life—on the line to ensure her stepsister can never again hurt the two people she loves most.

Rhian Cahill’s Fallout is an emotional, single dad, second chance contemporary romance written in K. Bromberg’s Everyday Heroes Worlds project.

#Fallout #KBWorlds #EverydayHeroesWorld #JakeAndMallory #Maddox #SingleDad #StartingOver #SecondChance #SmallTown #AgeGap #Nanny #TragicPast #SecretHeir #Billionaire #SiblingsEx #ContemporaryRomance #KindleUnlimited
💚𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤💚 𝑆 💚𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤💚

𝑆𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟. 𝑀𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑎𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡.

For Rylan Conners, flying for Mercy-Life is a haven after twenty years in the military and the breakup of his marriage.

Mazey Novak took the flight nurse job at Mercy-Life to escape the horror show her life had become.

Neither is looking for a relationship, but they can’t ignore their chemistry. One explosive encounter draws them together in a way they never expected.

A surprise pregnancy isn’t what the doctor ordered, but it’s an opportunity for each of them to have the life they’ve always dreamed of.

When a flashback from the past threatens to tear down everything they’re building can Rylan and Mazey become a real family or will their pasts ground them forever?

Rhian Cahill’s Flashback is a sexy, workplace, friends to lovers, contemporary romance written in K. Bromberg’s Everyday Heroes Worlds project.

𝐁𝐮𝐲 𝐢𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰:  https://amzn.to/30kXR8W

𝐀𝐝𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐁𝐑 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: https://smarturl.it/FlashbackGR 

#Flashback #KBWorlds #EverydayHeroesWorld #RylanAndMazey #FriendsToLovers #SurpriseBaby #Wordplace #FirstResponder #MenInUniform #KindleUnlimited #ContemporaryRomance

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