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Turtle be Turtling
I’ve kept my head down the last two weeks because those tests were looming and I was not in the mood to talk to anyone about it.
I won’t bore you with details, I’ll dive right in to the important part.
I’M STILL CANCER FREE!!!
Physically.
Remember we talked about the fact I’m never going to be cancer free last episode.
And I think I’m coming to terms with that.
It helps that all my tests and scans came back cancer free. 🙂
There is one small glitch, and that’s my bone density. It has decreased by 2%.
They seem unconcerned by this, the explanation being the meds I’m on and my age.
I’m not sure but I haven’t had a chance to research about it all yet. I’ll get to that.
I’ve been busy since I spent two days in medical waiting rooms and being radiated yet again.
I had a virtual conference this past weekend and I’m still exhausted two days after it finished.
Well, it’s not quite two days because it happened in US CST so I was up all night for the three days. I crawled into bed at about 4am Monday.
I was so focused on those pesky tests, then the conference, then a haircut I’d forgotten I’d booked and #son1 & #TheKid having birthdays (yesterday & today) that I forgot I have a book release today!!!
I swear, I never used to be like this. I’d remember everything!
I still remember most things but some just seem to slip my mind.
It’s annoying. I wish it would stop.
Maybe now the first year mark is ‘officially’ gone my brain will get back on track.
If not I’ll just have to rely on my planner. Another thing I never used to do. Planners were not my thing. Not until a few years ago when I found one that works so well for me that I’m super upset the company I got it from is moving to digital download only. I’m still getting it but it won’t be the same.
Unless I can work out how to make it all pretty like they did. I’ve got some things coming (DHL tells me the package is in Germany right now) to help me make it nice but as this will be the first time I’m ‘making’ my own planner I’m a little nervous about it.
Anyone make their own planners? Got any tips? Hit me up with them!
Also, I got a Cricut a few months ago and I’m slowly learning what I can do with it. I bought it specifically for making stickers and labels. I’ve done a few projects, I even jazz up a plain gift bag last weekend for a 25th wedding anniversary. I was quite please with how it turned out. I’m thinking of making cards next.
Anyway, enough of that. Let’s get back to this whole 1 year cancer free thing.
I’m not sure how I feel about it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled. (Who the f*ck wouldn’t be?) BUT, the last two weeks were more emotionally draining and stressful than my diagnosis was and I think that’s what I’m not sure of.
It’s hard to say. The last year has been the weirdest emotional ride of my life and I’ve had some doozies before. (Spending weeks in hospital with a newborn for failure to thrive comes to mind.)
I’m assuming this ride will continue. I’m hoping the further away I get from diagnosis the steadier things (my brain) will become.
But I’m not holding my breath.
And I’m trying not to worry about it.
If I’ve learned one thing during all of this it’s that live is not guaranteed.
You should make the most of every breath you take.
Hi Rhian, I understand that it’s very difficult to accept that life is not “normal” but you are here to tell the tale, you have a wonderful, supportive family and a selection of friends that need you to be you, whatever the new you is. Don’t over think this, you have a second chance to live your life to its fullest, grab that, try not to dwell on the if’s, but’s or maybe’s.
You have so many people urging you on, who are grateful that you’ve got to this stage and who are proud of you for dealing with this whole situation, the way you have, me being one of them.
Sleep is important for your mental health so I hope you manage to catch up on that soon. I
My memory went to shit after going through the menopause, although I’m out the other side I’d be lying if I said my memory was As Sharpe As it’s always been but unfortunately not!!
I don’t use a planner but making your own sounds fun, good luck with that, you should post the results.
As always I’m sending you my love and I hope that one day soon you can find it in you to move forward and be at Peace with where your at right now. Easier said than done, I know but hey what have you got to lose?
XXX
It’s understandable that you feel this way. Your world was set upside down and sideways and all that. Find tools to help you get through each day, week, etc. It’s all just making you a life long learner, refreshing your outlook on life, especially yours. Plus, you are so right, life is short so “you should make the most of every breath you take” as well as every day you wake. Count your blessings and congratulations on being one year cancer free and Happy Book release!! <3 <3