1 YEAR CANCER FREE!!!
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August 31 marks 1 year since I became cancer free.
I’d tell you how many hours if my brain was capable. (FYI: it’s not!)
I should celebrate. This is a milestone worth celebrating, right?
But I don’t feel like it.
I actually don’t feel like anything.
I’ve been in this weird head-space about today for a few weeks now and while I can appreciate how important today is and I’m ever so grateful to be here I also want to hide from it.
I still find it difficult to get my head around the fact that I’m a breast cancer survivor.
Don’t get me wrong I’m thrilled to be a survivor but I also I hate that I am.
I had breast cancer.
Those are four words I find myself repeating in my head a lot because it’s all still so surreal.
I had a check up with my oncologist on Monday. No issues there, see you in six months. And still, STILL, I struggle with the knowledge that I had cancer.
It’s annoying. And frustrating. And to be honest, sometimes I want to slap myself.
Maybe I should celebrate. Lord knows it only takes a drink or two to get me drunk since my radiation treatment.
Oh, and today is the 1 year anniversary of the Pilot Episode of Boobs Behaving Badly.
Yep. We’re rolling out the milestones this week.
So 1 year ago today (actually right now as I type this) I went under the knife to remove a cancerous tumor from my breast.
(Even those words don’t make this seem any more real.)
Some days I wonder if maybe none of it happened and what I’m remembering is a book I read.
That would be my preferred option.
Instead, it was all too real even if I still can’t get my head around it.