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Potholes and roadblocks
Life is a journey and on any good journey there are potholes and roadblocks.
I’ve had plenty of both in my life but breast cancer is probably the biggest. Or maybe it’s just the scariest?
Although, throughout these last few months I haven’t really been scared. I don’t think. Hard to say when most of the time my emotions have been undefinable. Maybe the way I deal with things outside my control helped keep the fear at bay. Maybe not.
Who the hell knows, because I certainly don’t.
Speaking of potholes…
There’s a hole in my boob.
But you can only see it when I’m bent over with my head almost touching my kneecaps. (Don’t ask!)
Seriously, it’s like a smoothed over pothole in the surface of my boob. I can’t explain it any other way. Oh, wait! Yes I can! Think about a dimple. You know, those cute little dents that show up in someone’s cheek when they smile? Yep, that’s what this thing looks like.
Except it’s like ten of them put together.
Oh, and it’s in a spot where the only way you’ll ever see it is if I’m naked. Although I haven’t worn my bikini to check…
Anyway, this is something new I’ve discovered and I only found it because I was finally trying on one of my bras. I’ve been wearing sports bras and a couple of wireless ones until now but I thought I was ready for the next step back to normal.
That f*cking wire…
Nope. Not going there yet. *sigh*
So no normal for me. Then again, what the hell is normal anyway?
I guess this is the new normal. I’m not in pain, the scars aren’t bad, side effects from the hormone meds haven’t been bad, I’m breathing and currently cancer free.
I’ll take that normal.
Speaking of normal.
When did that happen?
Who allowed that to happen?
I’m not ready.
I’m putting it down to the cancer and the fact we haven’t been home in 2 years. (Plus I’m still not convinced we’ll actually get there!)
We’re buying things online and sending the tribe out to grab things for the Gbabies. We’ve also got a couple of things here we’ve picked up over the last 2 years to take with us next week.
Thursday December 16th is the big day!
I’m not getting excited or even thinking about it much because (as I said above) I’ve been in this position before and been bumped off a flight at the 11th hour. Several times.
I think I’ll save my excitement for the moment I walk out of the doors at Sydney airport. Before that I’ll just be over here doing all this travel prep work (I talked about the paperwork needed to fly to Sydney from Singapore before) and dreading the fifty-billion-trillion-and-sixty covid tests I’m going to have to have.
I swear, I’m going to have an empty skull from all the scraping at this rate.
Guess it’ll match my slightly empty boob. 😆